Friday, 22 May 2015



Adventure time! Hope this will make my sem break something :)


But there's no god
God is killing me in so many ways

Thursday, 21 May 2015

Lolita(1997)影评



这是一部1997年的电影,《Lolita》。


''Lolita. 
Light of my life, 
Fire of my loins.
My sin.
My soul.''


‘’洛丽塔。
我生命之光,
我欲念之火。
我的罪恶,
我的灵魂。
洛丽塔。‘’


主演Humbert的声音有点磁性,有点沙哑。。。里边也包含了深深的绝望。我听得着迷,我听得痴醉。

这个根本就是一场充满绝望的爱情。看这部片以前,我读了它的简介,了解故事中的主人有我们所说的pedophilia,恋童癖。你可以用很多方法来形容Humbert和他的继女Lolita的恋情--乱伦,畸恋,恋童,甚至是。。。变态。不瞒你说,连原著都没看过的我,已经那么地认为。

看完这部片之后,发现这根本不是什么畸恋,而是一段很凄美的恋情。唯一在影片开头时不明白的是,究竟Humbert喜欢的是他年幼时失去了的初恋女友,还是后来的Lolita?
这个真名为Jeremy Irons的男演员,有一对和Adrien Brody,Ralph Fiennes那么相像的眼睛。。都是那么无助的眼神。每一次看见Humbert哀伤的眼神,我的心都凹陷了下来。他一旦忧郁起来好像万劫不复,就算开心笑起来又像是在苦笑。怎么会有如此一个男人,不需要言语,不需要动作,单单一个眼神,就足以把我的心完全碎掉??
‘’Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.'' 其实打从他说这一句话开始我就应该知道他到底爱的是他失去的初恋女友还是Lolita。到了最后,我并没有质疑他对Lolita的爱,因为从头到尾,Humbert喜欢的就只有她一个。

Humbert的痴情让我心疼;Lolita的冷漠让我心寒。
在Lolita离开Humbert三年后,一封求助信让他们团聚了。已为人妻的Lolita在没钱时才想到了当她是一生最爱的Humbert,Humbert竟然一点儿都不介意。

''He was the only man I was ever really crazy about.''

''What about me?''

得到的却是一片沉默。




''I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth.
She could fade and wither- I didn't care. I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face.''

很让我动容的一段话。最后一句,没有女孩子不想听的吧?可是接下来的却让我感到无比地心寒。

''Lolita...from here to that old car you know so well is a stretch of 25 paces. Make those 25 steps..with me, now.''

''You're saying you'll give us some money if I go to a motel with you?''

Lolita的回应让我惊慌了。
原来,她那么多年来,真的一直都没有爱过他。


那时的Humbert突然涕泪横流。看见一叠叠钞票的Lolita开心地笑了,完全没有很在意已经丧失了自己的Humbert。真讽刺--一起经过了那么多的两个人, 一个那么容易就高兴了,另一个却从此再也不可能会笑起来。
这么多年的疯狂爱恋,身不由己,到最后全是一地的灰烬。

那一幕让我肝肠寸断,心里已清楚故事的结局。




''Don't touch me. I'll die if you touch me.''

说这句话的Humbert已经快要崩溃了。他那么说一点都不夸张,他看起来心碎得快撑不住了。他的眼神顿时变得特别地无助,特别地绝望。他应该明白了吧--她从头到尾都没有爱过他。以前没有,现在没有,以后都不会有。


Humbert和Lolita最后在同一年在不同的地方去世了。


我生气,我气恼。生气一生人都像个小孩子的Lolita没有机会再长大,没有机会变得更成熟,永远不能反思,永远不能知道这个男人有多么的爱她,永远没有机会去后悔。



我恨不得回到故事的开头,回到有轻盈的配乐,一切尚未开始,一切还可期待,一切还是太阳初升。









''What I heard then was the melody of children at play, nothing but that. And I know that the hopelessly poignant thing was not Lolita's absence from my side, but the absence of her voice from that chorus.''


片名:Lolita 
中文片名为《一树梨花压海棠》











Two days ago one of the guys I talked to on Tinder told me his favorite book is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Out of curiosity I googled it and read the storyline of the book. I fell in love with the plot immediately and downloaded the second film adaptation of the book. First one was released in 1962. 
On the same day, I watched the film. Directed by Adrian Lyne, starring Jeremy Irons and Dominique Swain. 

It hit me strong, probably like how the Hong Kong gay film Happy Together has hit me, which the film coincidentally was released in the same year.
I spent two late nights working on this Chinese film review but it was reaaaaally tough cos I can't write many Chinese characters anymore and my vocabs are very limited. I tried! It certainly wasn't easy, this one I wrote on the foolscap paper was my third attempt and I still think my sentences are very badly formed, its not smooth as well. This is my second Chinese film review in this blog I think the first one is Ashes of Time, 东邪西毒(1994) by the famous director Wong Kar-Wai. It can be read HERE.

Anyway...
Lolita(1997) is amazing. I would rate it 9/10. 


I am gutted.


Tuesday, 19 May 2015

"Lolita.
Light of my life, fire of my loins.
My sin. My soul.
Lolita."


I can't get this out of my mind. I've been replaying the video on my Instagram for over 30 times at least and I'm really captivated.

I tried writing down my feelings after watching the film but I can't finish it;(


My my

Monday, 18 May 2015

sunday

Really dislike how I am not enjoying my sleep for the past few days. I had so much difficulties in falling asleep that is so, so bad. The sleep quality is so bad I wake up like twice every night and got up about 10am which is not what I wanted at all. Since I have nothing on I would want to sleep as much as I can but my body is not letting me. I could've slept till 12pm. 

I just feel so bored every day.


Here's some pictures for the past few days:
Was attending my dad's small birthday party at Jaya One. Oh it was also a celebration for my parents' 25th anniversary :)


The flowers we got for our mom for belated mothers day. Haha we, but its actually arranged and paid by my second sister.






Parents' friends delivered another bouquet too

He's high for sure

The party was HELL boring for me. I got no one to talk to cos parents are busy talking to their friends and brother had his own friends -.- So i called Vincent to pick me up to watch movie. Didn't get a picture w dad so we took in the lift when he walked me out to meet Vinc


Went KLCC with WeiYing to buy books! We were still having our BB1M book vouchers :) 


We went Kinokuniya. Believe it or not, its my first time here! Amazed with the wide variety of books and...SO MANY MIDDLE EARTH RELATED BOOKS! But hell books here are so expensive....books like these are about RM120 each.


Always the best companion for a book shopping Sunday :)



Taken by WeiYing! My hair looks really nice here :D


5 books for around rm250 so expensive :( 
The Mao book by Jung Chang is a book I've been searching for a long time! MPH and Popular don't sell them so I thought it must be too controversial to have them since China banned it. The author Jung Chang has also written one of the best non fiction books I've ever written, Wild Swan. I am very happy when I saw this book!

The two books in the middle are sequels to a book called Princess by the same author. The book Princess is a book given by my second sister on my 18th birthday and I just only read it a week ago. Its really really good, my first non fiction book about Saudi Arabia. So i got two more of her books in one go, quite certain I will like it cos I kinda like Jean Sasson's writing style. 

So happy I've gotten these books. I needed them! I needed some good quality content cos some of the books I bought from BBW are kinda bad that I couldn't make myself to continue reading. 




SIGH. I am so moody and bored. I think I can only feed myself with more The Walking Dead things. Its the only thing that makes me happy :D I think I am gonna replay the video game. OK i will

Saturday, 16 May 2015

tinderella

OK so..........................
I went on Tinder a few days ago!! HAHAHHAHAHA. Aiya no one will believe me if I said I was really bored that's why I went on Tinder and not because I am desperate after a break up... Vincent thinks its the latter one T.T hahahha 

no serious, I was bored. You have to believe me...you have no idea what I do at home everyday. Nothing. really nothing.

hahaha. So I am surprised to know that Tinder is quite a good platform to make friends and find partners and all, I haven't met any perverts yet!! That's really nice cos Tinder only allows you to use your Facebook pictures as your Tinder profile pictures so..unless you have a fake FB account, your profile most likely will be real, as in no fake pictures, age, location and all. Once you're up on Tinder, you can set your preference of the age, gender and location of people you want to meet.

Then Tinder will show you many profiles of the people under your preference. They'll pop up one by one and you'll have a choice to whether skip them(means you don't want to talk to them) or 'like' them. The fun part is, you can't just talk to people after you like them, you can only do so if they 'like' you back. So when both parties 'liked' each other, they'll be linked up for a chat. Fun right?!

The first night I played it was so fun. Its like choosing a perfect Ken for my Barbie HAHAHA. I mean I feel like a queen choosing my men slaves - I don't like you I swipe you away muahahahahhaa. The trick is, if you swipe to the right is a short cut for 'like' and to the left is 'skip' but I wasn't aware of that at first I thought swiping them away means no so I simply swipe to both directions ended up linking to a few weirdos LOL. I thought I am the only one who plays Tinder among my friends cos no one mentioned it! After I am up on Tinder I am surprised to know cos so many of them are on Tinder too and they saw my profile. Sneaky sneaky ah these boys hahaha

I do set myself a few rules to make friends with what kind of guys.

1. The age must be between 19-24
- Actually I don't want to meet guys that are younger than me. But in my profile in Tinder I am 19 cos my birthday is still not over yet. So I assume that the age is not accurate? People might be a year older than their age shown, so I set it 19-24. I don't want them too old either like if they're already working for a few years, they'll think of me as a little girl lah still studying and all.

2. No angmoh
- Surprised to see so many ang moh living in KL. Young ones somemore. I think most of them work here or are on a long term vacation in Asia and stop by KL for a few weeks. They're really dashing I was very tempted to click like every time I come across one cute ang moh. But realistically thinking you think they want to be friends only meh. Most of them look for one night stand and shit one..

3. PLEASE DONT HATE ME...:( but no Malays.
- God damn it, the most handsome boys on Tinder aren't ang mohs but these freaking Malays. They're reaaaaaally good looking gosh. I don't want to make friends with them because later I make friends with them and fall in love how?? I mean its really hard to not cos they're very handsome HAHAH. I have no interest of converting into a Muslim so I cannot risk it....and I am praying hard that no Muslims/Malays will read this if yes please don't be offended T.T


4. No pretty boys
- I am not attracted to those boys with super good looking features and they're very geli. Big eyes  small mouth that kind. They're very handsome la but so not my type. They wont like a girl like me anyway so...


5. If their profile pictures is a selfie
- Unless its during their travels, this I can understand cos maybe they travel alone no one helped to take pictures..but no matter how handsome they are or how nice and friendly their bio sounds, as long as they take selfies...no....




6. If they have piercing.
-NO



7. If they have pictures of them smoking, shisha, vape.
- NO.



8. Half naked pictures.
- No matter how good their body is.
NO.


See Tinder is very good it makes me feel like a queen bee I can choose my boys pretend that they are begging for my likes and I can say no to everybody HAHAHAH. 




Very fortunately, 90% of the guys I 'liked' liked me back!! To be honest I think I've cheated them..
This is my Tinder profile picture which is also my current FB profile pic. Its quite stupid la cos this was taken during my 19th birthday last August. and I had a good hair day. and this was taken with my sister's camera which has some beautify effects.

I feel like I've cheated the boys cos in real life now I look like this:
WELL..not that pretty...
but at least my nostrils are clean :D





6 types of guys I met on Tinder



1. MIDDLE EARTH FAN, LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
HAHAH I swear our whole conversation was about LOTR/hobbit. HAHAHAH






2.  The awkward wild and yolo
We started chatting for not even half an hour.....my sister asked me to go cos this guy is quite cute  HAHAH but I don't want la I don't want to go on a date so fast. And also I don't want bcos later I kena kidnap/murdered instead of having an awkward wild and yolo tinder date after my date found out about me being so ugly in person. HAHAH 

3. The potential best friend
I think this is one of the best Tinder match I got. I clicked with this guy immediately and our texts are always superrrrr long talking about everything!!! Of course we brought it to Whatsapp later on. *smirks





 4. The big flirt
We started talking for not even 2 minutes...
After that he asked to hang out I said maybe we should get to know each other first he NEVER REPLY ME ANYMORE. 
SO BAD!! The moment he noticed that I lost the 'potential' to feed the desperate him he did not even bother to reply >;( >;(


 5. The one I ruined on first impression
HAAHAHHAH I showed my friends and they said my reply is damn asshole HAHAHHA. This guy is already working I think 23 or 24 years old HAHAHAH




 6. The movie buff *heart shape eyes*




 7. The pick-up line master
HAHAHAHHA TINDERELLA IM STILL LAUGHING AT THIS.



but yes after a few days I got so bored with Tinder.
The cycle keeps repeating like meeting new guys and asking for basic infos, general questions and all the shit.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I NEED A LIFE

Friday, 15 May 2015

Walking dead tag!:)

1.11am 
I am as bored as a boring dog.

Let me talk about Walking Dead!! Whoever watches Walking Dead or is a fan automatically becomes my best friend ^^ 

OK so I went online and search for some Walking Dead tag questions and will be answering them here although no one tagged me to do it..SO SAD I feel so pathetic, tag myself and all HAHAHA.

1. Favourite character and why?
- Needless to say...........
Its the Rick Grimes!!!

Ok why? COS HE'S HOT, SEXY, A HERO, A COP, A DILF...okok serious reason -

he's really hot. You know I am always a sucker for bearded men T.T Ok not those middle-easterners la okay. Rick is the hero of the series, leader of the group so...he always has this charm, and people feel safe when they're with him. I did too. I mean when Rick isn't around things sometimes go bad and unexpected so at least when Rick is around I'll feel more relieved knowing the favorite characters of mine who are present w him are in safe hands. hahahah.


Not to forget the classic Coral memes HAHAHAHAHA laugh die me.


I actually blogged about why I like Rick in this blog post :)

Ok for female I would say Michonne.
I think nobody has more swag than this lady right here. She's always so quiet and reserved but remained extremely capable of doing things and also fighting zombies. Very clever as well. When I learned her past its quite saddening cos she seemed really tough. Sigh. Can't wait to see more of her in Season 6!!!




2) Least favorite character and why?
Okay I have a few characters in mind...one by one!


- Eugene
The first time I saw him I already was disgusted. His hair doesn't complement well with his outfit and stubby body. THE HAIR, its so ugly ew it makes him look like some pervert. (maybe he is one)
So he was with 2 other survivors before he met Rick and the rest of the group. He lied to everyone that he knew the cause behind this zombie disease and was able to put an end to it, but he needs them to protect him and send him to Washington DC. So everybody did. When he saw how everybody worked hard just for him, he was guilty and confessed his lie. WTF....such an asshole I would've killed him on the spot. He gave false hopes to everyone making them think that he can actually put an end to this apocalypse. 

And one of the characters defended him saying he has one skill to survive in this world and he used it, so they can't blame him for trying to survive. The skill she mentioned was telling lies. Ok -.-

And then he has this habit of watching Abe and Rosita having sex WTF.......weird shit. 

Ew I hate him since I first saw him. Can he die next???? Probably wont cos AMC loves fucking with her audience -.- give Beth back to us !!!




Carl Grimes
Surprising to see him huh? But yea I don't like him. He's cute when The Walking Dead first started and he was about 10 years old. Cute kid and all but now years later he's in the awkward teenager stage in the series and real life. His character isn't very lovable though, I hate him when he doesn't support Rick when he needed most. I stalked his instagram and twitter he seems quite lan si probably cos he has so much fame at the young age, I think he's currently 14. Mehhh he can't really act too so AMC, take him off!!

I once saw a Walking Dead fan saying AMC might let him grow up and replace his father Rick. I can't help but admit that is definitely possible. This boy can grow up very fast when he's about 17 years old, 2 or 3 seasons later he is big enough to be the lead role. A bit too cliche if they let Rick hog the lead role for too long..BUT.....

DO NOT LET RICK GO AMC, I'LL FREAKING BURN YOUR HQ.


- Jessie

Jessie is a newcomer on Walking Dead. Another survivor the group met in the Alexandria community. She and Rick had something on in Season 5. NO PLEASE I DON'T WANT RICK TO HAVE A NEW GIRL SO SOON T.T I HATED LORI BUT I WOULD RATHER RICK AND LORI TOGETHER THAN ANY OTHER NEW GIRLS T.T SIGH THIS IS EVEN SADDER THAN MOST DEATHS.


I followed the cast on Instagram and saw one of them taking pics behind the scenes and this Jessie is in the pic..expected but that means she will still play a role in Season 6 cos they're currently filming it now T.T after 5 full seasons of Walking Dead I think I know AMC well now..and I know that AMC won't let go Jessie that soon, or even let her stay for a long time SIGH.

Rick is mine, you know??



3) Scenes that made you cry
HAHAH quite embarrassing but I cried on the first episode of the first season HAHAH so fast then so emotional already.
I think of all the emotional scenes this one made me cry the worst.

- Rick's reaction when he learnt Lori's death
This was somewhere in the middle of Season 3 I think..so I grew quite attached to Rick already. He never broke down before even after so many things happened, he's always the super tough guy so when he cried like this oh fuckkk my heart shattered into pieces and I cried with him as well. I cannot take it when my favorite actors/characters cry. Heartache T.T
I just rewatched this video and it already got me teary-eyed T.T 

- Hershel's death
I've always loved Hershel just as much as the characters loved him. When the villain chopped his head off I immediately gasped. I was super shocked!!!! Then I proceeded crying WAHLAO it was super emotional.

Can be watched here. Its only 1 minute long! This included a very inspiring speech by Rick. T.T sigh my heart is proven to be too weak for Walking Dead. This I cry that I cry...

- Rick's reunion with Lori and Carl
Omg hahahaa first season first episode I already cried HAHAHA. But yea this was real touching okay cos Lori and Carl thought Rick died.


- BETH'S DEATH
Now Beth Greene is Maggie's youngest sister and Hershel's daughter. Her character was not quite noticeable in first few seasons, not until the group separated and she was with Daryl. Although Daryl is somewhere mid thirties to 40 and Beth was 17, they had a really special relationship but couldn't tell if it was a romantic one or merely just friends. Lots of WD fans shipped them more than they ship Carol and Daryl! Including me.

Her fan base is very strong too so when her death happened many people were so angry with AMC they had a petition to bring her back. No joke LOL. Anyways, I was angry with her death as well cos her character is very unique and cute. Most of the WD fans are angry of her death cos it wasn't a meaningful one. At least let her die in a better way!!!>;( 
sigh i really liked her. She could have so much more development in the story, with Daryl!!
Her death is by far the saddest death, very devastating cos when she was stuck in a hospital everyone in the group went and collect her. She has always been like the baby of the group. Naive, young and very lovely and sweet. Everybody went and collect her when they learned that she's still alive, shows how precious she is :( sigh. I miss Beth already.


4) Favorite location.
The Prison! Who doesn't like the prison in Walking Dead??? Its the safest!



5) If you could be one of the characters on the show who would it be?
Well I limit myself to only female characters...minus the dead ones cos I don't want to die so Lori, Beth, Andrea are all out.
Probably Maggie. She's one of the luckier ones. Got a loving boyfriend and all...and haven't really encountered something very terrible like Carol(lost her daughter), Beth(separated from the group alone), Sasha(lost both her brother and lover). Oh she almost got raped in Woodbury but I don't think it happened at last so..




6) If you can only travel with 6 characters who would it be?
Ok this is tough. 
Rick must be present. HAHA.
Daryl. He makes me feel safe too. He's always so calm.
Sasha. She's very rational and kills whoever that needs to be killed and wont be as emotional as other girls. 
MICHONNE, above description on Sasha, but times 10! I love her!
Beth. Above 4 characters are very good at protecting but they can be quite hard to get close to. I would need so much of emotional support, I need somebody to talk to me comfort me and all..Beth is still a teen and she's so lovely :)
Ok one more guy..Glenn! He's quite cute.

Thats about it. I would feel very safe with these people around :)


More walking dead tags next time!