Thursday, 30 October 2014

after black

 End of the week already! I have no class from tomorrow to next Tuesday, man..more holidays please!
 Phew..the past weekdays were so tiring.Not to say a very tough week but..it wasn't good. Especially with my distant friend being in trouble, I felt as if my days are now covered in shadow, the gloomy feeling won't go at all..Right now theres no more news about it, I'll have to wait till this Sunday. 

I sincerely hope all will be well.


So yesterday night many friends of mine sent me images and tagged me on FB about this promotion:
Haha! I laughed the moment I saw this. I don't usually drink Boost Juice and never bothered about buying it. I know they have this promotion where they give people free juice if their names are featured, I find it creative! But I always thought that people with Malay/Chinese or even rare English names will never get free juice from them cos I once saw that they had promotion with people who are called Adam and Emily. Was very surprised to see this! I guess giving free juice to people with common English names led to profit loss hahaha. 

So being a cheapskate, I went to claim my free juice. Was even surprised to know that it can be any juice on the menu! Usually promotions like that have fixed choices. So I picked a drink called Skinny Dip, recommended by my friend. Then I was asked what size do I want! Woah....

''Can I take this size?''(carefully avoided the word ''large'') 
''Of course!''

What sorcery is this! No fixed choice ad size! This large sized drink is pretty large.
Not a fan of Boost Juice so I shared it with my friend. Was still a little happy cos I saved RM10++ ! haha. 

Went to the new cafe opposite Sunway College called After Black. Very high rated cafe! Just like the name, the walls outside the cafe are covered in black. I was very interested in the menu because it was said to be the most hipster cafe menu yet. So nice to the extend that many people take pictures of it instead of their coffee!

It was crazy packed when we arrived at 12pm. The waiter said we will have to wait for 30-40 minutes and we were quite hungry already so we went to another restaurant to have lunch. Was quite disappointed though cos didn't get to try their food this time round. Checked their menu online before we went, and most of their food(pasta,rice,salad etc) are priced at RM5.90 ONLY! Cannot believe how cheap it is!! The place is really nice though, very similar to Garage 51 which is just few doors away. 

We came back after lunch and it was less packed.

 
Ryan's. Their most popular Rose Latte. So pretty!


HZ's cheese baked black rice.

 I like taking pictures and play with photography in hipster cafes like this. Quite ashamed of my photography skills though. I didn't really think much when I first started the ''photography'' account on Instagram when I already have an account before that. Now that I look back at my pictures they looked so......unprofessional and they aren't nice. There must be people laughing at me trying too hard, since I have no skills but I have the courage to create ''photography'' account. hehe. My pictures will have to be heavily filtered in order to make it look nice acceptable. But I'll try to improve them! Just hopefully I won't lose interest in photography in the coming years :)


The Hobbit's World Premiere Announcement video is out!!! Everyone(by everyone I mean myself and the middle earth fans I follow on instagram/twitter/fb) was guessing where would the location be at this year. For the first of the trilogy, An Unexpected Journey, it was held in Wellington, New Zealand. For the second one, Desolation of Smaug, it was in Los Angeles. I watched both through the live stream and they were both AWESOME. I thought this year would go back to New Zealand again since it was director Peter Jackson's motherland and the filming location for the trilogy, not to forget this is the final of the 6 films already, thought Peter Jackson will want it to be a full circle by having the premiere at where it started.  Everyone was guessing the location of world premiere and they finally announced today!

It is going to be in Leicester Square, London!!!!!!

WORLD PREMIERE. 

1st December 2014.

For middle earth fans like me, world premiere is like the opening ceremony of Olympics, something really important and big. They usually take over the whole place and had the whole place covering in middle earth decorations and of course, the complete team of the trilogy as well as the full casts will be there at the premiere!! It is outdoor so fans can meet the cast and crew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really really wish I could be there for this ..#onelasttime.


It was so emotional when Ian Mckellen says ''we are at the end of the journey''...quite impossible for people who don't like lotr and have not been following Peter Jackson's middle earth journey to understand the feeling. I've always wanted to blog about why I love LOTR/Hobbit films so much..and I hope I will write a post of it before the world premiere.
12 years of middle earth journey for me...I don't want to let go..I don't want this to be over yet..:(  I haven't even bought any official merchandise with my own money yet(so thanks a lot Jo and Emil for buying me few of my first merchandise!), I haven't even been to any of the comic cons..or meet any of the cast yet..I haven't even been to New Zealand yet..

:(


I am going to cry like a baby when the time comes.

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

I'll not depend on anyone

2001

 I am blogging this with a heavy, heavy heart.
And I don't even know where to start from.

Just 5 minutes before my algebra test two days ago, I was informed by my sister that a friend of mine....is suspected for murder. I was so shocked I felt like my heart has stopped beating for that 5 seconds. I raced through the whole article on the incident and I was hell nervous. I cannot believe what I've just read and I simply cannot accept the fact that it was my friend, the one being accused..for MURDER.

Murder. Something I've only seen it in the movies, read it in books/newspapers and usually is someone unrelated to me and not even in my network. But now...it feels too damn surreal that it is someone not only I know, but someone I consider a good friend back in my high school days.

My mood was badly ruined by the news. I can't help but feel scared. How & why would someone decent become someone..who murders?
He was accused of murdering not just anyone, but his own sister.

He is currently being detained for a week until this Sunday. Many of my ex-schoolmates and his own friends chose to believe that he did not do it.

He was a good guy, no doubt bout that. I havent talked to him for a year now cos from what I've heard, for the past year he has been isolating himself from the others. He is not active on social media either. My heart wrenches at the thought of him undergoing so much stress....he must be so depressed..to have done something so awful.

He was the Assistant Public Relations Director when I was still a president back in 2011-2012. For a Leo member who went orphanages with me, who brought the kids to the zoo and someone that has a lot of friends...could it be him?? If he's not my friend, I would simply describe him as a heartless person. Violent, cold blooded and cruel, for killing his own sister. But right now this person is someone I know, someone I am familiar with..I have to rethink everything again. When he's sober, I would guarantee you he wont do such thing, but I can't guarantee that now that he was found drunk when the incident happened.

He's my friend. I can't get myself to think of him as a murderer. He's my friend, no matter how terrible things are for him, I shouldn't be making assumptions. My heart aches so bad so bad...what could have been???
He was a nice guy....




Man...I really really hope for the best for him. I just want him to live..for him to have a chance to be happy again. I can't accept anything less...

TWJ..please..come out safe.


Have some mercy.

He's only 18.

每晚最难捱的是,自己很害怕黑暗,所以开小灯。
可是,不能有任何灯光,我又会睡不着。
好辛苦,每天睡不着。

Sunday, 26 October 2014

little corner

你和人出去吃饭,在意的是菜式的好坏,可是我更在意一起吃饭的那个人’ 林晓琪说。

真准确。
和不对的人吃饭,就算是吃山珍海味我都会被鱼骨呛到。
和对的人吃饭,真的吃什么都无所谓。

真累人。

Thursday, 23 October 2014

你会不会到最后才后悔

窗外下着很大的雨,才下午四点,房里就已经黑漆漆--我好想看一部耐人寻味的电影。

我想起了一部电影。。那一部我下载了许久但没胆看的一部电影。。那一部被某一个人形容为‘’莫名‘’的电影。 一直没胆看是因为害怕。。害怕自己的浮躁。开了却久久都不愿意按play的我,还真有点紧张。想起我第一次接触到这部电影时,我还在读中一。有一本影响我至深的小说。。里边那一位女主角提起了这部电影,让我想看好久了。 

电影里第一个画面是。。
‘’佛典有云  旗未动  风也未吹  是人的心自己在动。‘’

好有意思。


一个小时半的电影,比起其他电影来说,还真有点短。电影里人物关系复杂,看了半场,我都还搞不清楚整片电影到底在说什么。

‘’《东邪西毒》是部很奇怪的电影,好像没有什么连贯的情节,也分不清谁是主角,谁又是配角,只有大段大段的独白台词,一个个出场又离场的人物,絮絮叨叨地诉说着自己的心事。‘’ ---这是林晓琪看完后说的。

跟她一样,我好喜欢里边的一句话-‘’在我最好的时光,我最喜欢的人不在我身边。‘’这句话有够老土的,但是说这句话的人是张曼玉。她随口说说,我都心甘情愿被她引领,淡淡的惆怅在那句话之后与我形影不离。林晓琪在她要过十八岁生日时想起那句话,我十八岁时,也是如此。想起那句话时,我想起了一个人,一个很好的人。像林晓琪一样,我一厢情愿以为自己是欧阳锋的大嫂,而他是欧阳锋。后来才发现事情根本就不是这样。他不会是欧阳锋,也不会是黄药师。他是盲武士。
我,亦不是桃花。

也许,我是沉浸在似真似幻的梦境里的慕容嫣。


‘’不,我不会是慕容嫣,我不会沉浸在一段无望的感情里。‘’


------------


‘’其实‘醉生梦死’只不过是她跟我开的一个玩笑,你越想知道自己是不是忘记的时候,你反而记得更加清楚。‘’

想了想,也许我才是欧阳锋。因为性格高傲,放弃了许多生命里重要的东西。唐泽,还不是一样。


就如林晓琪所说的那样,这是一部很莫名的电影。它很扑朔迷离,总让人觉得说了什么,可最后一句又让人觉得什么都没说---可能这就是导演王家卫的风格了。我把电影断断续续地看,到了最后,才了解到这片里所有的人物都是一样受了伤的人。不论是欧阳锋的高傲,黄药师的花心,慕容嫣的痴心,还是欧阳锋大嫂的无奈,这些人一转身全都是缺乏安全感的人。

到最后,有谁不想要做洪七?他简单的性格让他成为整个片里唯一幸福的人。

我们都活在热闹繁忙的都市,如没有去细细品味这不电影,恐怕你会捉摸不到剧中人的孤独。它们表现孤独的方式都不一样,但全都让我感到无比的绝望与失落。如果你像我一样喜欢电影里有好结果,那看了这部片后你也许会感到很落寞。有兴趣者,这部片叫做《东邪西毒》,是著名导演王家卫1994年的名作。

看这部电影,需要一个人,心亦很静时,一杯温热的咖啡或是一支冰冻的啤酒为伴,慢慢地观赏。


一直不敢看这部电影还有个原因:
对于爱情,我有种难以名状的情绪。





 原来‘’醉生梦死‘’,不过是一个玩笑。越想忘记,反而记得越清楚。






Wednesday, 15 October 2014

What do you do when it's so difficult to please someone but you upset them so easily? 
That's a very complicated thing.
I don't need a lot.
I just need a little, for me to live confortably, in a place I like. 
I don't know if that is too much to ask for but, I'll always chase them.

Sunday, 12 October 2014

outside the walls

I want to rant so bad but I feel really bad to annoy people to listen to my vents.. sigh.
I should probably stop ranting cos it feels like I am always complaining and very dissatisfied about almost everything. But can't help it at all! My generation is born to complain, with all the luxury & social platforms, zzz just kill me.

I can't help but feel very trapped everyday, doing things I don't enjoy doing at all. Maybe this is the way the world works, but how can I convince myself to love it?? When everything's so limited to me and 'living free' doesn't really exist? I am really tired of doing what people tell me I must do, is it really a must??? Or is it not? I don't want to answer people's question just because they have asked me one. I don't want to study or work and be trapped in the same place just because it is my responsibility and because I am born with it. I don't want to grow up and be responsible for grocery shopping or paying rent. Must I? I am really lazy at home, to study, to do assignments, to run errands, but in this case I won't say I hate responsibility because I am lazy. I won't say I am irresponsible either. I just don't like how I don't get to choose how should I live with my life. There could've been so many ways..

I don't know how people get up at 6am to work everyday. Now that each day I am closer to entering the workforce, I can't stop imagining myself to be one of them. I don't think I can take it, to work for the rest of my life. Unless I enjoy it, but how many people in this world enjoy what they do at work?
 You know the big HERO market near my house? They have this guard/doorman who opens the door for you. I hate the whole idea of having a doorman, unless you're disabled, why can't you open your own door?? I feel very sorry for that doorman because he has to do something really petty, for money. Especially when people can do it themselves.
It reminds me of that scene in the film Tower Heist(2011), Lester the doorman said, ''All those years on the job, and it turns out that people can open their own doors.''

My point is, I don't know how people go through every single day doing things that they really hate. I worked as a freelance promoter before I go to Cambodia and those days were really hard. Standing 12 hours a day for few days in a row can really suck out all the liveliness in you. Its not just about standing all day, having sore feet and feeling exhausted. Even though I was handsomely paid, I felt like I've wasted so much time just standing, giving out stacks of high quality printed flyers and then watch the people throw it into the bin. Thats the time I realised how many things I can actually do if I just throw the flyers back to my boss and tell him I quit. I could've been so much more productive in life. But so many promoters out there and its their long term job. 12 hours a day may be a big deal for me but to them, its just a daily thing. Standing whole day? It is part of their life now. How can someone accept things like that? Unless they really love doing nothing and standing all day, but I suppose most of the people won't like it, but they have to do it for money.

It is in everybody's nature to do what they love, babies don't suppress themselves from doing what they want. But those babies, grew up and learned how to shut up and do whatever they were asked to, for money. Because thats how the world works. Money rules every thing. From the day I was born, everything is a scam. Things always get worse the older I get. More responsibilities, more mental/health issues, more things to deal with etc. Once you are old enough to actually understand things, you will start to do things out of routines..routines routines and..more routines.

Yes how the world works right now may be one of the best ways. After all, I can't figure out how can the world works in another way. I wish people could skip work just to spend a day at the beach, when ever they want. But everything will not make sense. Nothing's free, and thats what the modern world tells me. Sigh..though I really mean what I've said in the previous paragraphs. If only somebody gets what I am trying to say.


The constant notifications from my phone(emails, twitter, instagram, facebook, whatsapp..), studying and having to deal with so many more things drain me so much. I believe I am very full of life, but I just don't want this liveliness in me to die down because of the routines in my life.