Monday, 3 August 2015

its so stupid how I always tell myself and everybody that I hate watching comedy films but what feel like watching all the time is some easy going films..

and not all those films I downloaded that I know its gonna make me heavy hearted.

and im so bored now at almost 1am.
don't want to watch the romance cos it will only make me desperate.
don't want to watch those war movies, it will only make me overly inspired to die.
don't want to watch the few childhood films, im not ready to rewatch them at all, after more than a decade..
don't want to watch all the films that give me so much feels cos handling them is not easy.

what do I want..?
just some easy comedy films.
but theres none in my list

lolll what the fuck am i talking about

Thursday, 30 July 2015


Tuesday, 28 July 2015

OMG I don't ever want to forget this feeling:

I've been looking for a few childhood movies for as long as I can remember. No matter how hard I tried!

Today I found one of them!!

I  am so excited and happy!!
It's been too long!!!!!!
IF YOU KNOW THIS MOVIE LETS CHAT!!! I am so happy and excited I've been searching for this movie for so so long, so long!!!

Finally one happy thing.

Monday, 27 July 2015

I really don't know how to do this..
It feels like the light of my life has suddenly gone..and I have nothing to look forward to, nothing to lean on.

For the past week I have been getting so much of 
"Life is unfair."
"Shit happens."
"You can only expect the worst."
"This is life, you can't do anything."

But I don't want to accept it at can I make them understand how important this is to me...
I can't accept any other thing than that...

I cannot do this..I cannot.
I don't want to.
But nobody seems to understand how anxious, how worried I am every single day. 

I want to quit.

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

I can't believe I am back to this stage again..
Things are NOT going my way at all and its fucking me real bad. I don't know what the hell to do at all having all these bad news and shit throwing at me almost everyday.
Am I stressed out? I fucking am. I am also very depressed, angry, hopeless and every kind of shit you can name.

I just need this to work, ONE MORE TIME, just one more time..
You can't be fucking with me like that its not my fault at all..................

Or was it?? Maybe not directly, or maybe its karma, for whatever shit I've done.
 I am so weak I cannot take so many setbacks at once...
I wish I was a simpler person, I wish I was more optimistic, but I am not and things are looking so bad for me right now...

i dread for tomorrow's arrival.

but i desperately need something to work out. I need..because I don't know what to do at all.

Monday, 20 July 2015

What am I gonna do now..

I fucked up real bad
I don't even know why I miss my baby boys so fucking much these days. It was so much stronger this week I can't take it

Pls don't grow up, my darlings.